Forget the drunk passengers and crowded pool decks: I still love cruises

I should know. For a long time, I tended to dismiss the cruise fans in my circle, figuring they were folks who didn’t know how to vacation in a more refined manner — say, by spending a week in London to take in the latest West End shows or visiting a remote New England island and basking in all its natural beauty. Such are the kind of vacations I often relished.

But to borrow a phrase from Cyndi Lauper, girls (and guys) just want to have fun. And as I’ve now learned after a weeklong sailing from New York to Bermuda and back, a cruise vacation is a lot of fun, especially if you approach it with an open mind. In other words, don’t be a cruise snob.

In some ways, my change of heart about cruising speaks to a broader trend: The world has gone cruise crazy of late. Coming out of the pandemic, the industry has seen a record number of passengers — some 31.7 million in 2023, which surpasses the 2019 tally by 7%, according to figures from Cruise Lines International Association, a trade group.

Moreover, many of those passengers are first-timers: CLIA says the new-to-cruising segment has grown by 27% over the past two years.

Although I wasn’t technically a first-timer — I had done a couple of shorter cruises in the past — I certainly brought a newbie’s skepticism and guardedness before I embarked on my recent full-blown seven-night adventure. But at some point, I dropped my defenses and found there was a beguiling rhythm to being at sea.

Here’s how one particularly memorable morning unfolded: I started with a leisurely cup of coffee while taking in the ocean view from my balcony room. Then, I worked in a swim at the pool (it was small, but I still got in my exercise laps). And then, I enjoyed a hearty breakfast at the plentiful buffet, replete with omelets made to order.

Oh, and to cap off my a.m. wanderings: I caught a surprisingly terrific Broadway-style cabaret show at one of the ship’s many lounges, sipping on a fruity cocktail throughout it. The mere fact I was able to do this without changing out of my swimsuit — and without being judged by anyone for my beyond-casual attire — brought an especial smile to my face.

Did I mention that everything described above came with the cruise fare? True, cruise lines find no shortage of ways to charge you for more — specialty dining, shore excursions, you name it — but there’s so much that’s included with the price of admission. In my case, that sum equated to about $3,000 for my wife and myself combined in that balcony cabin.

Let’s also not forget the cruise’s destination: I got two-and-a-half sun-kissed days in Bermuda, which afforded plenty of time for exploration. But here’s where the value aspect of cruising really entered the picture: Bermuda happens to be the most expensive country in the world. If I had opted to fly there, stay in a hotel and eat out in a few restaurants, I could have easily spent the equivalent of my cruise fare, if not a few hundred dollars extra. But my cruise gave me Bermuda and, well, a cruise.

I suspect the value aspect is what’s driving a lot of people to look at cruising of late. Travel costs are up 12% compared to 2019, according to NerdWallet. But it can often seem like a lot more, especially with all the unanticipated vacation expenses (I feel like every trip is a tale of too many $4 sodas — and $100-a-person dinners). The thing about a cruise is that you’re buying a package deal that delivers all your lodging, food and entertainment. In turn, that means there are fewer surprises, presuming you don’t go wild at the ship’s casino or jewelry store.

The other thing about a cruise: In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s a resort on the move. Meaning it gets you to the places you want to experience, be it Bermuda, the Caribbean or even Antarctica, plus all the points in between, without having to deal with trains, planes and automobiles. I’ve enjoyed some of the travels I’ve done to Europe’s major destinations, but the transportation between those cities? Not so much. (And last I checked, those European trains don’t have a pool, either.)

My thoughts are echoed by veteran cruisers I connected with.

“I like the ease of travel once on board the ship. There’s always food available. There’s stateroom and laundry service. There’s even a [medical] clinic,” said Leslie Carbone, a travel blogger.

Woody Graber, a South Florida resident who has cruised everywhere from Europe to Canada, told me he likes the all-in-one pricing: “If you’re lucky, you can even get airfare included.” But he also said the best thing about being aboard a ship with so many things to do is that sometimes you feel like doing…nothing. “It’s very relaxing,” he said.

And Don Bucolo, another travel blogger, points out that the possibilities are endless when it comes to cruise destinations. He has been to familiar places and some not-so-familiar ones (Iceland, anyone?). “Not to mention, river cruising is a great way to see the interior of countries,” he added.

Of course, there are the naysayers. It seems there’s a whole literature devoted to making fun of the cruise world and the people who enjoy cruising. A recent case in point: Novelist Gary Shteyngart’s gazillion-word screed for The Atlantic about his sailing on Royal Caribbean’s
RCL,
+1.58%
Icon of the Seas, the new mega-ship that’s the world’s largest.

Mind you, Shteyngart’s piece has some very funny observations. For example, he describes the ship as “a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots.” But in the end, it’s merely one intellectual’s diatribe calling out cruisers for being crass and clueless. As Shteyngart himself admits: “It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship.”

Here’s a wild suggestion: Maybe think a little less and allow yourself to have a little fun?

I’m not saying some of the stereotypes about cruising and cruisers don’t have a certain ring of truth. Take the night I had supper in one of the quite swanky main dining rooms, only to find myself seated near a very inebriated man who had somehow arrived sans footwear.

He wasn’t sure what happened to his shoes — hey, who can keep track of these kind of trivial things? — but he seemed to want to let the entire cruise ship know of his predicament. “WHERE ARE MY SHOES?” he kept asking aloud. (He sent one of his family members to find them.)

I’m also not saying there aren’t legitimate concerns when it comes to the cruise industry. Perhaps at the top of the list is the environmental impact these ships have. And that’s followed closely by concerns regarding the potential spread of viruses, including norovirus, on ships.

In respect to the environmental issue, CLIA, the trade association, notes the changes the industry is making. “Cruise lines are reducing emissions at berth and at sea with significant investments, innovative approaches, and systems designed to help the cruise sector transition to low- and zero-carbon fuels,” the association said.

And as far as the health and safety issue, CLIA said: “Incidents of norovirus or other gastrointestinal disease are quite rare on cruise ships.” Specifically, CLIA says a cruise passenger has about a 1-in-5,500 chance of contracting norovirus during a shipboard outbreak.

But what about the actual onboard experience otherwise? Are these ships really Dante’s inferno on the high seas, as some would have you believe?

Naturally, that’s a matter of opinion. My argument remains that you need to look past some of the ticky-tackiness — or even revel in it. Have a piña colada. Have two, for that matter.

Or find a cruise line or ship that suits your style. It’s not all overcrowded pool decks and overdone décor (and I’ll allow I found my share of that).

Chris Gray Faust, executive editor of the Cruise Critic site, told me she can usually identify what cruise vacation will work for someone by asking a short series of questions regarding their tastes and preferences. And she notes there are plenty of cruise ships, particularly on higher-end lines, that would suit a thinking person.

“If people don’t like it,” she said of cruising, “my reaction is, ‘You’ve gotten on the wrong ship.’”

That leaves just one potential negative: the chance of getting seasick. But they make medicines for that — and they can be helpful, according to the experts.

Or maybe you’ll be fortunate like me and enjoy a smooth sailing. And, yes, have a little fun along the way.