‘My sister’s strength inspired me to keep on going’
By Eleanor Moritz and Lauren Hirst
BBC News
As 21-year-old Gracie Nuttall walked on stage to collect her degree in front of a cheering crowd, there was just one thing missing – her big sister.
In May, Laura Nuttall, whose determination to tick off a bucket list of dreams hit the headlines, died at her home in Barrowford, Lancashire, surrounded by her loved ones.
Her death came five years after being diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer where she was given just 12 months to live.
“It hasn’t been easy at all,” says Gracie, who studied TV and film production at the University of Salford.
“But it really was Laura just sort of saying ‘come on – if I can do this, you can do that’.”
Twelve months before her death, the Nuttall family gathered for Laura’s graduation ceremony at the University of Manchester – one of her many bucket list goals.
“Uni is hard for everybody,” says Gracie.
“But for someone with such a massive disability like that, which affects every single aspect of your life, it’s even more of an achievement.”
Image source, Family handout
Gracie was joined by her parents at her graduation ceremony in July – just months after Laura’s death
Laura was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme following a routine eye test.
But despite the struggles she faced, she was determined to live her life to the fullest.
She met Michelle Obama, commanded a Royal Navy ship and presented the weather forecast on BBC North West Tonight while raising awareness of brain cancer.
For Gracie, she believes there also needs to be more awareness and support for siblings as they come to terms with a terminal diagnosis in the family.
“Sibling grief and the concept of a glass child should go hand-in-hand with speaking about someone who has a terminal illness,” she says.
“The sibling almost becomes transparent. You look right through them to get to the other sibling.
“It’s not that the parents are depriving the child of attention, it’s that they can’t balance it and the sibling takes up more of their attention or time because they require that much.
“It’s a phrase that’s helped me because it makes you feel seen.”
Image source, Family handout
Gracie described her sister’s death as like “losing your other part”
She adds: “It’s a conversation and it’s a way for this sort of pain to be recognised.
“It’s not just losing your sister.
“It’s everything that you have to go through before that and seeing her in some of the situations that I’ve seen her in.
“You never un-see that. It’s scarring.”
Image source, Family handout
Gracie and Laura were very close from an early age
Sitting in the family home, Gracie’s grief is unsurprisingly still raw.
But like her big sister, she harbours a resilience to help others and a determination to live life to its fullest despite the agonising heartache.
Since Laura’s death, her family have channelled their grief into helping to raise funds for brain tumour research.
Gracie has designed T-shirts and bags with her sister’s inspiring words: “Be kind. Be brave. Be silly. Be honest.”
They have received orders from around the world.
“I think that sort of encapsulates everything that she stood for and everything that she tried to get out of life and wanted other people to get out of life,” she says.
Each package includes leaflets highlighting the signs and symptoms of brain cancer.
The money raised will help fund brain tumour research with the family planning to launch the Laura Nuttall Foundation.
Image source, Family handout
Gracie, pictured with her father, designed the T-shirts in memory of her sister
The University of Manchester is also planning a tribute in her memory but the exact details are still being finalised.
“She truly was astounding. Despite the illness she had, she just got on with it and did it,” says Professor Jackie Carter.
“But by just getting on and doing it, she was a terrific role model for other people.”
For Gracie, while Laura ticked off some incredible achievements, it will be the small things that her sister remembers.
“Life isn’t defined by doing amazing things or ticking things off a bucket list,” she says.
“It’s waking up every day and swinging your feet out of bed, even if you feel a bit rubbish, and saying ‘I’m still going to make today mine’.”
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