Could Jadon Sancho really argue that he deserves a glorious return to Dortmund? And Jordan Henderson is fortunate to have such options after trashing his reputation.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!Here are five potential moves this month that the players involved barely merit…
Jadon Sancho to Borussia Dortmund
After the way Sancho has conducted himself, not only in the last four months but for much of his Manchester United career, it will stick in the craw of many Red Devils to see the £72million winger swan off back to Dortmund.
For the German club, it’s a no-brainer. Their memories of Sancho tearing up the Bundesliga in yellow and black are still fresh enough to take a punt on their former player, especially given they have no obligation beyond supplementing his wages until the end of the season.
Whether Sancho can turn it back on, though, seems doubtful. His two-and-a-half years at Old Trafford have been almost a complete waste of time. The last few months certainly have, though Sancho might argue that point since he’s been paid a sodding fortune to sit on his arse, controller in hand, while not enduring the bare minimum expectations that come from being a United player. An active one, at least.
If Sancho suddenly catches fire again, then it won’t reflect well on Erik ten Hag or United. Both parties will inevitably be held up as the reason for Sancho’s failure when the player ought to take the majority of the blame. But at least it might create a market for a player who has done nothing in the Premier League to warrant the kind of transfer fee United might be hoping for,
Jordan Henderson to Chelsea, Newcastle, Bayern Munich, Bayer Leverkusen, anywhere outside Saudi…
‘What a dreary, pitiful waste of time and dignity this has been’. Tickers nailed it while lamenting Henderson’s act of Saudi-inspired self-sabotage. And you would need the forgiveness of a saint to conclude anything other than: ‘You made your sweaty bed, lie in it’.
But, no. Henderson will inevitably get the move he wants, whether it is a return to the Premier League or an escape route via Europe.
Chelsea and Newcastle have been linked. The idea of the ex-Sunderland star, a born-and-raised Mackem, moving to Newcastle would have been preposterous barely six months ago. But, for Henderson, every principle has a price. And signing for the Magpies while adorned in a t-shirt borrowed from Lee Clark would only be the second-worst move he’s made since the end of last season.
Perhaps he might choose to spread his message of love and equality in Germany, where the Bundesliga’s top two are both reported to be interested. That feels wrong too. There would be little justice in the sight of a lederhosen-clad Henderson swigging a three-litre Paulaner while dancing off with the Meisterschale less than a year after he made himself football’s biggest hypocrite.
Read more: Jordan Henderson bumwash has trashed his reputation in five Saudi Arabian months
Eric Dier to Bayern Munich
Now no one would begrudge Dier doing that. Good luck to the lad. And God bless his agent.
It is hard to think of many players who might fall upwards like Dier this month. The ex-England defender can’t get a look-in at Tottenham, where Ange Postecoglou has gone out of his way not to pick him. So Bayern’s interest is manna from heaven.
There is logic in Bayern’s thinking. Thomas Tuchel wants a centre-back and a defensive midfielder this month and Dier can do both.
Granted, neither well enough to earn Postecoglou’s trust, but he’ll do for one of the Champions League favourites.
Trevoh Chalobah to Bayern or Tottenham
Prior to Dier getting his big move, for months it seemed like Bayern were going to move for Chalobah. They were keen in the summer and reports suggest that interest remains.
To be fair, Tuchel knows more than most about Chalobah’s potential after watching the defender at close quarters in training. The rest of us aren’t privy to that, nor have we seen him in games because he’s been injured since May.
Which is unfortunate, but Chalobah hardly fits the brief for Bayern, who need cover for Kim-Min Jae and Noussair Mazraoui rather more immediately than the 24-year-old might be able to provide while he recovers from a thigh problem.
Tottenham’s need is similar but they too have been linked with Chalobah. And we’re not really sure why.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Jarrad Branthwaite.
Jarrad Branthwaite to Real Madrid
We know, barring injury, Branthwaite has a big future ahead of him. Almost certainly, the centre-back will take a hefty step up from Everton and net the Toffees a huge windfall.
But Real Madrid? Now? He’s good, but perhaps not Real good just yet.
Carlo Ancelotti certainly needs defenders this month, especially in the wake of David Alaba’s injury, and the links with Raphael Varane seem far more plausible, even if you could argue that the former Real defender would be lucky to net a return to the Bernabeu given his contribution to Manchester United’s cause in recent months.
Ancelotti knows Branthwaite having given the Cumbrian his Premier League debut in 2020. But, while not quite on Julien Faubert levels, Branthwaite would be a hugely surprising pick for Real this month.
Read next: All the completed Premier League deals in the 2024 January transfer window
