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Use this 3-month rule to actually keep your New Year’s resolutions: ‘You can really only change a couple things at a time,’ author says

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Breaking habits or forming new ones is hard — and starting on January 1 doesn’t change that.

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To give yourself the best chance at success, pursue one, manageable to-do at a time, says Michael J. López, a consultant, career coach and author of the upcoming book “Change: Six science-backed strategies to transform your brain, body, and behavior.”

“You can really only change a couple things at a time,” López says. “My recommendation for the people I coach is start with one goal and give yourself a three-month interval before you add anything new to that.”

Let’s say you want to learn a new instrument, exercise in the morning, and watch less TV. If you tackle just one of those for the first quarter of the year, you’re more likely to succeed, López says. And this success will motivate you to pursue other goals.

‘You experience the frustration of doing something uncomfortable’

Oftentimes when we set New Year’s resolution, we picture ourselves as already altered — as someone who has that $5,000 saved or runs three times a week.

While visualization is proven to help us reach our goals, it doesn’t account for the work it will take to get to this new iteration of ourselves.

“You don’t just experience the effort of trying something new, you experience the frustration of doing something uncomfortable,” López says.

And when we underestimate how hard breaking a habit or forming a new one will be, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

“To change a habit you have to give up that old thing and adopt a new thing and that process takes repetition,” he says. “Most people don’t appreciate or anticipate the time it will take, nor do they anticipate the frustration that they’ll experience.”

Start with just one goal so you can give this change your full attention. Once you’ve adapted to your new habit, you can add more to your plate.

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